I have been rather quiet of late because I have had to deal with some things that have given me a shake-up.

My brother, Bruce, was diagnosed with neck and head cancer 6 years ago which required a 10 hours operation to remove abscessed soft tissue from his neck and installation of a new voice box and removal of his bottom teeth. He had intensive radiography and also had to learn to speak again. Over the years he has had lumps removed from his head and neck. Last year in March he was told he would not be having any more operations done to remove any more lumps and no more radiography and was given a couple of months to live but they could give him palliative chemotheraphy to give him maybe an extra 12 months and now would be assigned to a palliative doctor.He finished his course of chemo last September, and was able to play golf again.

On 29 June my rescue cat, Darcy, went outside and hasn't been seen since. I had had him for 4 years. 

On 27 July Bruce had a stroke was hospitalized and entered rehab. Last week he returned home and is taking things slowly.  (My dad had a stroke when he was 54 which paralysed him down his left side and he died at 67 years.) For some reason the news my brother having a stroke knocked the stuffing out of me, up until then my travelling down to Sydney to take him to chemo and a palliative doctor appts I was able to cope. Grieving.

On 14 August I came home from work to find my 12yo dog, Bailey, laying down in the backyard, I knew as soon as I saw him he was gone.  I rang the Vet and he said to bring him down and they will look after him. More grieving.

I live on my own, (divorced empty nester), my pets are my little family. Now there is just my 12yo Maltese Terrier, Carly,  and I.  I had bought the two of them from a little old lady who had 7 dogs, council had told her she could only have 3 and to get rid of the others. My children were still living at home and my eldest son Nicholas and I fronted up to the house only expecting to take one home but the lady was worried if we took one it would be too lonely. So we ended up taking home Carly, and Bailey, a West Highland dog. She had brought them from two different dog breeders, they were 6 months old when they joined our family.

 Everyone keeps telling me to buy a new cat/dog but I think Carly is too old to have a young puppy/kitten running around her. We went on a 2km walk the other day which she loved but paid for it with being all achey the next day.

......................

More and more I have been trying to direct this blog into what it originally was supposed to be ... a life journal.

On Friday, I started two weeks annual leave to de-clutter my house, paint some walls, finally get some cocos palms removed and new guttering installed. On Saturday I had gone down to Sydney to visit my daughter and grand-daughter and we had a lovely lunch together. 

I returned home later in the afternoon on Saturday to find a message waiting on my home phone from the sister Tricia to say my brother Bruce had taken a taxi the day before to the local hospital when he had noticed numbness in his left arm and leg. Bruce has head and throat cancer which he has been battling for the last 8 years.

Last year he underwent a course of palliative chemo to try to slow the cancer down which was successful until his last two x-rays showed that the cancer was active again. A decision whether to run with another course of chemo was going to be made in September, now with this stroke I am not sure if they will go ahead with the chemo but wait to see what long term effect the stroke has on his body.

As I was going to be on vacation I had made plans with Bruce to take him to a store as he had decided to buy an ipad, he finds a PC computer difficult to get his head around (not very computer literate) maybe the ipad would be more user-friendly for him 

... Now we wait to see how this #%F% stroke develops. 

... now I am just sitting here feeling like all the stuffing has been knocked out of me.

When my sisterTricia rang, she left me a number so I could call him direct in hospital, so I rang him and we had a chat, first thing he said was I haven't got a pen ... why do you need a pen ... I'm bored I would like to do my crossword ... that is if I had a paper so I could do my crossword ... and I have no book to read ... and I can't get to my mobile (cell) to phone its on the side of the bed I can't reach ... ok so can you reach the button to summon the nurse to get you a pen and paper ... and there's no TV and I pay top hospital care... I think you're having a bit of a whinge now ... (laughter) ... maybe, he said. 

We spoke for 1/2 an hour about the tests he had had on the Saturday and was going to be visited by the doctor Sunday morning. After the phone call I rang one of his friends to let him know about the stroke and he was going to give him a call on Sunday to see if he needed anything. A call to my sister today Monday and we are still waiting to see how he is going.

 I have a feeling that this stroke is connected to his cancer.

Update 3/9/12.

He is home now while he was in rehab, a team from home modifications went to his house and installed rails and a slight ramp over his stairs. He is walking with a small limp but otherwise he has lucky there was not more damaged done.